Sleepin’ Around - Sonic Youth
not really going in to
it.
slightly nervous slightly sick to my stomach. wont be long until we speak again and im not sure how i’ll do whether ill crack or whether ill stay firm and try to be honest and open. im so different from a year ago. completely different struggles. you know: People so often pass judge onto their peers based on the struggles that their peers are going through, and that is sad. If someone struggles it is because he wants to make headway- and that is a good thing. Judge someone for the problems she lets roll off her back and just sorta sit behind her. The people who do this are the ones who are piling up baggage to deal with later in life. At least i acknowledge my issues and have courage enough to wrestle with them.
but here i go worrying about something yet to come.
i have one thing in my favor: i sorta have a clue where i am going in life. and i waited. i remained neutral an entire year. it has been hard. hormones are a monster all in themselves. especially pre-20 males hormones. two close calls because i was under the influence, but i caught myself or found myself caught up in a situation i somehow regained control of. i am proud. i am scared. i am hopeful. i am holding to something i think is completely gorgeous.
i can hope.
